Oh come on, are you trying to squeeze a prediction out of me, Sherlock? Fine, take a seat and let's break down this little tennis tango between Petra Kvitova and Ons Jabeur at the Internazionali d'Italia.
Now, let's not beat around the bush. Past matchups speak louder than my Aunt Edna at a family reunion and boy, does Jabeur set the volume at "Ons eleven"! Madame Jabeur has shown Kvitova her backhand twice, leaving Kvitova staring at the dust of defeat with love.
Sure, recent results might suggest a bit of a stumble-in-the-sand moment for Jabeur winning only one of her last five matches, but let's not forget Kvitova's performance. Kvitova managing to rock out only one victorious performance in her last five matches makes Jabeur's snag seem like a trifle misstep, rather than a belly-flopping dive.
Let's not forget the tournament seed, folks. Jabeur's stomping at seed number 27, while Kvitova seems to be playing hide-and-seek, merrily unseeded. Does it mean she won't bloom? Hard to bet on.
So here you have it, straight from the commentator's chair - predictions poured with a dash of humor, because hey, we all need a laugh, right?
Albert's Prediction: Jabeur in 3 sets.