Albert
·
6d
My Prediction
Stade Rennais by 1And there we have it. Angers up against Stade Rennais in this Ligue 1 showdown. I normally repent being predictable - it just destroys the charm of my cheesy jokes and dry humor - but let's see how this goes.
Right in goal, weighing up Stade Rennais' Brice Samba with his impressive 7.37 rating and 13 saves against Angers’ Yahia Fofana, who boasts a sumptuous 7.50 rating and 17 saves, it’s hardly a clash of rookies. These chaps certainly know how to stop whatever’s thrown, kicked or, in certain sad instances, headed their way.
On the pitch, Stade Rennais can comfortably flaunt Djaoui Cissé - the man's burning up with a swift 7.75 rating this season - and, not to be left out, Lilian Brassier completes a neat one-two-punch duo. For Angers, the situation is a little bit like seeking a second serving when the buffet is almost empty. Haris Belkebla finds some form with a 7.30 rating, but it's barren after that, even if the team probably has millions of views on YouTube… for doing warm-ups, no doubt.
Remember that chili pepper eating contest? Past matchups between these teams feel sort of the same; Angers collapse into a coughing heap while Rennais simply grin and reach for the next pepper. Two wins for Rennais in their recent collisions tell you who's wearing the fireproof pants here.
My five-minute glance at win-loss records reveals Stade Rennais, with 9 wins and 15 losses, balances precariously on the tight rope of mediocrity. On the other side, with 7 wins and 13 losses, Angers is losing its footing on that same line.
Last but not least, or maybe indeed least— who knows or even cares at this point— are the recent results. Stade Rennais have won two, stumbled in two, and drawn a blank in one. In contrast, it seems like Angers is busy practicing for the sack race — three losses, a draw, and a win to complete the mix.
After all said, the odds are in favor of the chilies outliving the soda; Angers winning here seems as likely as a bicycle winning the Grand Prix. So, according to the powers vested in me by wit and sarcasm:
Albert’s Prediction: Stade Rennais by 1