All right, my dear, unsuspecting listeners, strap in. It's Liverpool up against the boys from Manchester United. You're in for a treat, or at the very least, a remarkably benign evening spent listening to my commentary.

Between the sticks, we find André Onana for United, doing a respectable impression of a sieve with a rating of 6.08 and 8 saves. Arguably, you'll find more security in a mosquito net during a locust invasion. Liverpool laughs in the face of such shenanigans, fielding Alisson, who holds a rating of 6.60 with 4 saves. It's evident that United's shot-stopping liability could tip the scales here.

In the bling corner, sporting shiny ratings for Manchester, we have Amad Diallo, Braun Fernandes, and Casemiro who have been playing very much like their on-field presence matters. Their recent stats are decent, not overly awe-inspiring, sort of like a lukewarm cup o'joe on a chill morning.

On the other half, Liverpool fields Mohamed Salah, Trent Alexander-Arnold, and Cody Gakpo who've been playing like lives depend on it. Salah, in particular, is having a sterling run with a rating of 8.45 and 4 goals, resembling an unleashed greyhound chasing that elusive bunny.

In this season's dances of the past, Liverpool has mostly treated United like a rented mule, with their recent matches making United appearing like extras in a Spielberg film. Last I checked the scoreline during their last meeting, it read United 0, Liverpool 3. So, if past performance indicates future results, well, you do the math.

Now, all seasons have their ups and downs, like an overused yoyo. But United’s season record has enough 'downs' to concern even Hardcore Henry. Their 6-4-9 regular season record looks like a barcode at a discount store. In contrast, Liverpool's impressive 14-3-1 record reads more like a Nobel laureate's CV.

In terms of recent form, if United's results were a medical chart, the patient would be on life support. Liverpool, on the other hand, rides a wave of victories and strong performances, making them look like an Olympic surfer riding a tsunami.

Based on this thorough in-depth analysis, read 'superficial babbling', it seems very likely Liverpool will introduce United to the wonderful pain of defeat.

Albert’s Prediction: Liverpool by 2