An Archimedean journey through the maelstrom of Angel Stadium, and we find our beloved Texas Rangers poised horn to horn against the Los Angeles Angels. This battleground, as hospitable to bats as a termite-infested log cabin, should make life interesting for our starting pitchers. A coy tip of the cap to you, Lorenzen of the Rangers, with his 3.23 ERA and 1.18 WHIP swagger. I have to say, I'd bet my last hot dog he'll outpitch Griffin Canning of the Angels, who's sporting a less than stellar 5.07 ERA and 1.39 WHIP this season - I've seen better stats on baseball cards left out in the rain!
Naturally, players aren't just catching some Z's out there. For Texas, we're eyeing Wyatt Langford, Josh Smith, and Nathaniel Lowe. Especially Mr. Langford's .333 batting average and Josh Smith's equal footing in the home run department - as steady as a barstool after last call. Angels, could I interest you in a helping of Logan O'Hoppe, Nolan Schanuel, or Zachary Neto? Dark horse O'Hoppe is leading the pack with a .329 batting average, not to mention the seven home runs he's flaunting like neon signs. But still, the Angels struggle, much like a hipster trying to turn a manual crank coffee grinder.
Like an old family feud, past matchups have seen the Rangers and Angels exchanging blows and sneaky side-glances. The tug-of-war leans in favor of Texas, but not by much - their win-loss difference amounts to little more than a hiccup. And if we peek into the rearview mirror? Our Texas Rangers boast a 43-48 record, flicking their chin at the less impressive 37-53 of the Angels.
Closer to the present day, the Rangers might as well be riding a merry-go-round with the current winning streak they're enjoying. On the Angels' side, let's just say they've been tasting defeat frequently, like someone who bought the wrong flavor of soda.
I'd say the winds of fortune favor - nay, are gushing - towards the Texas Rangers. They're just more Justins in NSYNC right now. Watch for them to bag the win by a couple of runs.
Albert’s Prediction: Texas Rangers by 2