Keeping our fingers off the profanities, let's get knee-deep in the intricacies of the beautiful game with a highly anticipated Ligue 1 matchup: the mighty AS Monaco up against Stade Brestois.
Marvelous Monaco have certainly been showing off their flair this season, playing with a confidence that radiates from their goalkeeping talent, Radosław Majecki. Whoever said goalkeeping isn't an extreme sport hasn't seen Majecki in action with his cat-like reflexes and dauntless dives, earning a respectable 7.03 rating.
Applying their magic in the middle, Eliesse Ben Seghir, the man with an unpronounceable name but a game that speaks for itself. He's netted 2 goals this season already. Aleksandr Golovin also deserves a fair nod, being one of those rock-solid players that gives the rest of the team a pedestal to stand on.
Turning our hawk-eye to Stade Brestois, morphing the ordinary to extraordinary, we've got Marco Bizot between the sticks with a 7.05 rating. They say, "a good goalie is worth his weight in gold" and Bizot certainly strikes the bullseye.
In the field, Romain Del Castillo seems to have inherited football genes, boasting a stellar 7.60 rating, while Julien Le Cardinal brings a dose of stability to the squad with a passing accuracy that would make a swiss watch green with envy.
History, that ever-sardonic narrator, tells us that the sea-rippled shores of Monaco have generally served as a graveyard for Stade Brestois's hopes and dreams, as shown by their past matchups.
The computer nerds crunched the numbers and the regular season records seem to be in favor of AS Monaco with 7 wins compared to Brestois's 4. Recent performances also suggest a tilt towards Monaco, despite a slight hiccup against Angers.
Although, let's not discount Brestois like last season's fashion quite yet, they had an impressive win against Stade de Reims recently, but with a run of poor results, they seem to be less consistent than a handwritten doctor's note.
Now if I may pretend that my name's Albert, (I assure you, it's not, but let's roll with it). Care to know who'll walk away whistling victoriously? Keeps your shorts on folks, and remember no one wins every wager, but here's where my magic 8 ball is pointing.
Albert’s Prediction: AS Monaco by 2