Ah, the heady aroma of fresh statistics. This Bundesliga matchup sees Borussia Dortmund squaring off against Darmstadt 98 and it promises to be, well, it promises to be something.
In the bias-defying role of goalkeeper, we don't quite have a Neuer or Courtois, but the seasons’ stats place Darmstadt's Marcel Schuhen and Alexander Brunst, with ratings of 7.53 and 6.05 respectively, up against Dortmund’s Gregor Kobel and Alexander Meyer, not exactly electrifying stats with 6.60 and 6.10 respectively.
Looking at the top players, two FABIANS are leading the line for Darmstadt 98 - Holland and Nürnberger, with a pretty solid passing accuracy proving they can pick a needle out of a haystack. Oscar Vilhelmsson and Christoph Klarer are the only two chaps able to ripple the net - a story more tragic than a Greek play.
As for Dortmund, Youssoufa Moukoko and Marco Reus stand out. They apparently didn’t get the memo which said "passing is nice, low ratings are cool" and went ahead and scored anyway. Donyell Malen and Felix Nmecha are also tasting a slice of this goal scoring pie.
Regular season records appear to be scribbled by a Shakespearean tragic writer: Darmstadt with a stomach-churning 3-8-22, while Dortmund stands at a relatively lofty 17-9-7.
Attempting to decode recent play like some sort of Mayan calendar, Darmstadt seems to have become professional at losing, with a dash of winning against 1. FC Köln to keep them from exiting the game altogether. Dortmund, on the other hand, had a mixed bag of experiences, winning against FC Augsburg and Borussia M'gladbach, though were bested by RB Leipzig, and 1. FSV Mainz 05 seemingly bought them to the schoolyard and took their lunch money.
So after factoring all these charming tidbits, we can make an educated prediction. In my opinion, Borussia Dortmund, demonstrating the charisma of a soggy biscuit, will still outdo Darmstadt by the skin of their teeth, but not with the kind of distance a 2.5 spread requires.
Albert’s Prediction: Borussia Dortmund by 2